Ah. It's a new year.
As I age (but remain at a delightfully young mindset of about 25 years old...although some may argue it's closer to 13), I realize that staying up late to ring in the New Year is not nearly as appealing as attempting to get sleep. Contributions to that are probably the offspring and a job. More specifically, a job at a location that doesn't close on the first of the year. Plus, I think I view a new year a bit differently than most of the world.
Calendars are arbitrary tracking devices. Life is full of patterns, so using a calendar allows humans to keep track and monitor these patterns. It also allows us to know what to expect, which feels safe. Each day is fresh, a new beginning, a delightful opportunity to approach life with awake eyes and a sense of purpose. Most of us don't, though. It's easy to get comfortable in the patterns of daily life, and therefore looking at a brand new calendar with a new year number feels like it is a new beginning.
And with a new beginning comes resolutions. I find it delightfully amusing that new year resolutions are so popular. Now, don't get mad at me, I have a good reason, I feel (and I've made resolutions in the past). We start out the new year listing all the things we want to change, which essentially reinforces all the bad habits or perceived personal negative characteristics. By springtime, some of the new good habits have stuck and continue, but many of the other resolutions start falling away, forgotten. Nearing November and December (well, maybe starting in October, if I want to be truly accurate), we begin to celebrate those bad habits again: overindulgence, consumerism, etc. All under the guise of holidays. The end of December approaches and we reflect on the year, picking out the bad and forgetting the good, looking for what we want to be "better". Last year and this, I've seen an idea/suggestion passed around on social media - a jar. Simply a jar. Sounds profound, right? (that sentence is written in sarcastic font, btw) But, really, it's amazing. Each time something good happens, no matter how big or small, it is written on a slip of paper and placed in the jar. Over the course of the year, all the good adds up, filling the jar. At the end of the year, the jar is opened and all the good is revisited.
I think it is a much more difficult thing to focus on the good than on the bad. Wallowing in negativity is so easy. And I really don't understand why. I like to approach every occurrence, whether good or bad, but especially bad, as a learning opportunity. Every situation teaches me something. It could be something about myself (which it often is) or about someone (or something) else. Yea, sometimes sucky things happen. But it happened. It's over. It's in the past. Learn from it and look forward to the future, perhaps changing your own behavior to prevent it from happening again.
One thing I hope we can all change for the future is the holidays. And looking to the good in the past can help. I had an experience where a last minute make-the-offspring-uber-happy-but-in-a-simple-keep-the-magic-of-Christmas-alive-way purchase was desired. I ended my work day and drove to the store. The amount of vehicles entering the shopping area was staggering. Apparently many others were making these types of purchases! I walk into the store and can't find what I wanted, so I approach an employee. This person appeared so worn out and unhappy. I felt ashamed. Ashamed of myself for adding to the crazy of this day and time of year. Ashamed that I am an American and our society so strongly encourages consumerism, wrongly equating it to happiness. Although I wanted to hurry because being in a store at that time on that day with the rest of the insanity was not happy-inducing, I took the necessary time to be polite and understanding and appreciative of this person standing in front of me. I hope that moment was a tiny bright spot in her day. I hope that others were polite and understanding and appreciative to add more bright spots. My small purchase complete, I exited and made my way home.
What I hope for the future is remembering the purpose of the holidays. It's not buying things for people, and by this I mean just a bunch of items that are not needed and have no feeling or intention (aside from just buying to add to the number of gifts) behind them. It's about sharing joy and love for each other. It's about spending quality time together. It's about rediscovering why these people are important to you. I also hope your decisions bring you joy. I hope you focus on the good. I hope that by doing so you invite more good and joy to surround you and spread to others.
Every day is new. Every day holds the promise of something amazing. Amazing doesn't have to be gigantic, it can be a smile on another's face, a hug from a dear friend, a realization of a goal. You hold the potential for amazing. Live it. Be it. Share it.
And if all that is way too deep for you, here's a delightful naughty word list of ways to be a better person. http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
Happy 2014.
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