Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition." Alan Alda

Today is graduation day for Master's students in the program from which I graduated last year. I am unable to attend and support friends and students, but my thoughts are with all those in attendance and who are, like me, there in spirit. Thinking on that fantastic milestone in my life, I recall the personal changes I experienced as I stepped to the edge of and beyond my comfort zone from beginning to end of my time within the program.

It is also the end of my very first doctoral semester. It really wasn't that long ago that I received those fate-changing words "you have been accepted". Talk about edge of comfort zone. I've already waxed poetic about my personal struggles with feeling as if I am not good enough for this program, so I won't revisit that at all. Instead I celebrate my growth. This semester was challenging, but not overwhelming. This break is a nice opportunity to consider why these sayings (life begins at the edge of your comfort zone, and the quote from Alan Alda) resonate so strongly with me.

Change is scary. And incredibly difficult. As animals, we are hard-wired to resist abrupt change. Something new within the environment is most likely negative, such as a new opponent or challenger. It could mean death. Or dismemberment. Or inability to find the needed resources...which I guess could lead to death or extended discomfort. The comfort zone is the place where we are most familiar with our surroundings, others' behaviors, our own behavior, and expectations. It's a place where we feel we have control. But it is also where stagnation occurs. Challenges in life show a person's capabilities. Seeking those challenges may seem a bit crazy to some, but allows a person real opportunity to see how she or he can change the world. That may sound a lofty goal, but the world doesn't necessarily mean our planet, although that is much needed. The world applies to a person's sphere of influence. Stepping outside your comfort zone does increase that sphere, and creates ripples within others' spheres.

Giving up a little of that control prevents stagnation and encourages the type of transformative growth that can really change the world. I appreciate all the spheres that have created ripples for me, rocked my boat, and bounced me out of that safe mindset.

Yikes, waxing poetic again. How's this: be a wombat. Yes, a wombat. Wombat feces is cube shaped. Cubes! Aside from geeking out over the biology that makes that possible, cube shaped poop is absolutely incredible! Wombats travel to new areas and mark territory with poop that won't roll away. Cubes. Depositing cubes in another's territory creates change. Challenge. Growth. I'll leave you with that fantastic imagery.

Beer: Brewing Up a Connection

Going to the professional conference a couple weeks ago threw off my groove of paper writing. I had grand designs to complete an optional paper (still might! the topic is super interesting!) prior to digging into a 10 page paper due today. That didn't happen. In fact, I only started writing this paper Monday evening. And I just submitted it. Honestly, I'm feeling pretty PhD badass right now. Especially since I wrote about beer. For my PhD assignment. Definitely boss level.
I've decided to share the paper with those of you interested enough to read it. Keep in mind a very important quote I recently became familiar with thanks to the comic strip "Zits" (http://zitscomics.com/): Perfection is the enemy of the done.
I think this is now my mantra. It does, however, starkly contrast with my desire for perfection. Ok, desire might not be the right word...obsession? That's closer. Not perfect, though. Oh well.
Anywho, as I learned more about the topic of beer and its history in human society and culture, I completely geeked out over it. Fascinating stuff! Given more time I think I could include all the awesome information. So, as you read through, please keep in mind that I was working under a short deadline. Don't judge. But enjoy.

Beer: Brewing Up a Connection

I do not drink beer. Even after tasting many different styles of beer and most likely continuing to do so in the future, actually drinking an entire beer does not appeal to me. The brewing process fascinates me, though. The natural chemical and biological processes inherent in fermentation, flavor combinations based solely off which plant types are used, the time and care put into the process with nothing more than a hopeful expectation of the outcome all contribute to an appreciation for the connection between the brewer and the craft. Watching others who consider themselves connoisseurs of beer, or actually more likely the colloquialism ‘beer snob’, taste and consider the flavors, nose, mouth feel, head, lacing on the glass, et cetera, I recall watching this same care in relation to wine tasting by adults when I was younger. The language used in the tasting and enjoyment process was a bit different, though. I do not care for wine either. Nevertheless, I still appreciate the craft.

I prefer hard cider, which numerous beer drinkers claim is sweet but I disagree compared to the plethora of sweet mixed drinks many enjoy. I feel I must clarify one important point: while I am discussing the ingestion of alcoholic beverages, I do not drink these to experience the effects of alcohol through the body’s digestion and metabolization. I sincerely enjoy the flavor. Historically, hard cider was a drink apparently born out of necessity rather than pure enjoyment. With the planting of many apple trees by John Chapman, familiarly known as Johnny Appleseed, across the United States that produced apples too tart and bitter for eating, crushing the fruits made cider in the 1700s and 1800s as an alternative for unsafe water (Kapany, 2009). The fermentation process eliminated virus and bacteria that led to illness.

Increased alcohol consumption within the population of the United States, with cider a large contributor, preceded prohibition (Kapany, 2009), which was a time where producing and selling alcohol was illegal. The production and consumption of alcohol continued regardless, providing an excellent income source for makers and sellers (Thornton, 1991). The history of alcohol in human society extends much farther back than the years prior to prohibition, which brings the focus back to beer and how to make it.

How to Make Beer

Yeast Yield Deliciousness

Many fruits contain high levels of sugar, so as the fruit ripens, the sugars concentrate. Continued ripening softens the skin or coating of the fruit, revealing the flesh for easy consumption by animals or decomposing organisms such as fungi, of which yeast is one. This relationship is beneficial to both the fruiting plant and the consumer. The dispersal of seeds the plant to other locations for depositing and, ideally, growth benefits the stationary plant to pass on genetics to new generations, while the consumer benefits through the ingestion and resulting energy from digestion of the fruit. Fermentation occurs naturally through yeast cells consuming sugars and excreting alcohol and carbon dioxide. It is likely early humans as far back as 100,000 years ago discovered sources of naturally occurring fermented alcohol (Tucker, 2011). The first appearance of human-made beer occurred approximately 10,000 years ago in what is now Asia, with the advent of agriculture that brought farming of grains (Standage, 2009). What humans consume now as beer is quite different from early forms.

Ingredients Make the Brew

The first known recipe for beer is from ancient Sumerian tablets dated 3,900 years old, which contained a poem to Ninkasi, the goddess of brewing (Beer100.com). Evidence found of human brewing activity dates 4,000 years prior to this written recipe (Hieronymous, 2013).The recipe describes beer made from barley in bread. The first recipe describes mixing soaked grains with bread and water, which leads to the assumption that the bread is the source for the yeast (Butler, 2013). Barley, hops, water, and yeast are the main staples for beer, recognized and standardized by a beer purity law in Bavaria in 1516 (Hieronymous, 2013). Testing on storage vessels indicate ancient brewing included other ingredients aside from these main staples, such as spices and oils, and even hallucinogens (Tucker, 2011).

Although lacking consensus on ancient brewing techniques, there is a simplified description available.
Beer loaves were formed from a richly yeasted dough that may or may not have been made from malt. This dough was lightly baked, and the resulting bread was crumbled and strained through a sieve with water. It may have been at this stage that ingredients such as dates or extra yeast were added. The dissolved bread, enriched by sugars from the dates, was then fermented in large vats; the liquid was decanted into jars, and these were finally sealed for storage or transport. (Samuel, 1996)

Reliance on wild (found in the air, on plant and animal surfaces, etc.) yeast likely did not occur. Within the fermentation process, the output of yeast is carbon dioxide and alcohol. Carbon dioxide is the carbonation with which modern society is accustomed in colas and beers, and is what causes bread to rise. Skimming off the frothy layer of yeast and carbon dioxide from the top of the fermenting beverage allows for harvest and use in subsequent brewing or baking (Cavalieri, McGovern, Hartl, Mortimer, & Polsinelli, 2003).

Changes with the brewing process and ingredients coincide with human advances in technology and agriculture. Refining techniques and ingredients continued in Christian abbeys, where recipes were stored (Butler, 2013). Post-colonization of North America, the use of pumpkin, artichoke, corn, molasses, and oats in addition to the more customary wheat and honey became common (Baugher, 2013). Beer was a safer alternative to water, as Americans determined cider later. Human settlements concentrate bacteria and viruses, many of which travel through the water supply and redistribute to human inhabitants of the area. Drinking contaminated water in a time with rudimentary medical treatments increased the likelihood of debilitating illness or death, neither of which is desirable.

The continuing increase in agricultural-based society allowed family brewing, usually performed by the women, for personal consumption. The differences in agriculture from that time to present day are stark. Rotational crops, lack of chemical pesticides, seasonal plants, and only local use prevented misuse of the land. Recovery of nutrients during fallow times allowed better quality plant-based food sources during growing seasons. Ingredients in the beer were dependent upon local availability and harvesting.

Producing Beer for Public Consumption

The Industrial Revolution ushered in new methods of planting, caring for, and harvesting agriculture. It also altered beer brewing, extending consumption from home brewing to production for widespread sale. It is important to note, though, that the possibility of sale of beer in ancient times is likely, although difficult to confirm. In addition, population increases along with ability to distribute on a large scale over many hundreds and eventually thousands of miles is quite different from selling in bazaars or markets that attract locals or travelers. Preparing beverages for large-scale production and distribution increases material and fossil fuel use.

The first industrial scale production breweries opened in the late 1800s when refrigeration was possible (Ascher, 2012; Raley, 1998). Automatic bottling and facilitated transportation by train continued to increase the popularity of commercial brews, especially with the use of refrigerated rail cars, icehouses, and pasteurization (ibid). The amount of ingredients necessary for large scale brewing increased the demand on agriculture. Railroads and trains already in production expedited the distribution, but the brewery reliance upon this transportation increased demand and use of the materials and fossil fuels. Less negatively environmentally impactful was bottling with glass bottles, which enabled reuse of this necessary material. The 1920s brought about aluminum cans that did not alter the flavor of the beer and were sturdy enough for shipping (Ascher, 2012).

Shipping included use of refrigerated trucks in addition to railways, increasing the use of fossil fuels and materials needed for production of transportation. It is likely that costs of the product, beer, remained low to increase purchasing and consumption, but the quality of the ingredients and simplification of production offset those costs. Large breweries were and are able to advertise heavily to the public, again driving purchasing of these brands, while reducing consumption of small-scale, or craft, brewery products (Ascher, 2012). The larger companies continued to grow as the smaller companies lost the ability to remain financially viable. Again, large-scale production calls into question quality in relation to flavor varietals from brew recipes of the past. Anecdotally, the ‘beer snobs’ espouse craft brewery products as better quality and flavor, even though the cost to purchase is generally higher.

Glass bottles and aluminum cans are still used today to store and transport beer. These products are recyclable, if consumers follow through with this important step in the process. Shipping continues today through fossil fuel-heavy transportation. Brewing the beer does need metal containers for the process and storage, and energy, in the form of heating the water for soaking the grains, combining the ingredients, and refrigeration before and during distribution. In addition, water usage is high considering output. Byproducts of brewing, though, are minimal and generally limited to steam, soaked grains, and greenhouse gases.

It is the Process and the Product

Understanding the fermentation, ingredients, and large-scale production of beer is not complete without knowledge of the actual brewing process. For home brewers, those brewing on a very small scale for personal consumption, there are kits available for purchase and easy instructions to follow. Brewing beer is not just about following the directions on the back of a kit, akin to convenience cake mixes. Dedicated home brewers respect the chemistry, technique, and finesse involved in producing the right flavor combinations, mouth feel, odor, and so forth. Many go so far as to conduct personal tasting research of available brews to determine preferences and styles.

Like large-scale brewing, supplies are necessary and generally acquired through purchasing. Consumerism can drive the home brewer to purchase new and visually appealing products for brewing, but repurposing existing pans, electric or propane burners, and ice chests, for example, provides sufficient supplies for the process. Water usage is significant, though, with a beginning amount of twenty gallons ending up as six gallons of beer. Granted, grain absorption (from soaking the grains) and steam evaporation during boil contributes to the use of two gallons. The cooling part of the process utilizes the remainder. Electricity, rather than propane, is more energy efficient, but considering that part of the process produces unpleasant odors, brewing in a well-ventilated area such as outdoors can limit availability of effectual electric burners.

Purchasing and preparing supplies and ingredients precede the start of the actual brewing process. Grains and hops are soaked and heated to a temperature optimal for release of sugars. Rinsing the soaked grains allows for collection of the sugared juices, which becomes food for the yeast. Cooling is necessary before introducing yeast so as not to kill off the yeast organisms. Maintenance of proper temperatures is required for successful fermentation. After completing fermentation, transferring the resulting brew into consumption vessels, which oftentimes are reused bottles or kegs, removes excess sediment. Following the entire brewing process is enjoyment of the product.

Humans Drink Beer

Today’s American society equates enjoyment of social gatherings and sports with drinking beer and other alcoholic beverages. If one believes commercial advertisements, popular large-scale brands of beer are the best for these situations. I, for one, do not readily believe what marketing companies try to sell me, hence why I am not a beer drinker. The marketing just reinforces a preexisting human-beer connection.

Survival of the Consumer

Tracing the consumption of beer back through human society shows an interconnected relationship of this commodity with human social systems. Early hominids (the species prior to current homo sapiens sapiens) most likely consumed mainly vegetative matter, of which fruit is an excellent source of energy due to natural sugar content; naturally fermenting fruits potentially attracted these consumers and contributed to the human relationship with alcohol (McGovern, 2009). Humans are biologically adapted to consume efficiently moderate amounts of alcohol with clear benefits such as increased heart health and longevity, since seasonally abundant fruits attracted consumers in order to stock up on internal energy reserves (ibid).

Jumping forward in the timeline of Earth and what can be considered modern humans, it is ideal to recall that this paper already presented the consumption of beer as an alternative to unsafe drinking water, another health benefit for survival. Discovery of beer feasibly occurred as humans shifted from a nomadic lifestyle to settlements near wild grain growth areas, harvesting the wild grains and soaking them for consumption; extended storage of the soaked grains fermented from wild yeasts, creating beer (Standage, 2009). Storage of this early beer was simple with the integration of stone receptacles, animal stomachs, trees, shells, et cetera (ibid). Humans quickly recognized and assigned other values to grain, as early civilization economics relied on it, leading to wage payment in the form of bread and beer (ibid). This links the nourishment gained from beer with economic value, in addition to other social uses.

Early Societal Influences

Archeologists postulate that human consumption, and the resulting physiological and mental alterations, of beer contributed to artistic recordings, shaman or medicinal advancements, and cultural rituals (Tucker, 2011). Social normatives surrounding alcoholic beverages stem from sharing beer out of a communal container, as evidenced in Sumerian art depicting two persons drinking from straws in a single bowl (Standage, 2009). Additionally, since the natural fermentation process appeared unexplainable, considering the lack of knowledge of yeast, humans linked beer and the gods, connecting natural to the supernatural; symbolic offerings of “raising a glass” continue into modern society (ibid).

Americans Continue Drinking

In Colonial times, taverns were popular gathering places, extending the connection between human society and beer. Political changes, such as the Sons of Liberty meeting in taverns sympathetic to the democratic cause, or the writing of the first draft of the Declaration of Independence by Thomas Jefferson in a tavern in Philadelphia, are also linked to this alcoholic beverage (Ascher, 2012). Other notable characters in United States history are reportedly brewers: George Washington’s recipes currently reside in the Library of Congress and Thomas Jefferson began home brewing after his presidency (Staten, 2013).

After Prohibition, the growth and standardization of the beer industry increased, leading to the large-scale manufacturers who dominated the market for many years. Craft brewers continued to persevere, though. Popular microbrews diversify the available beer types and flavor profiles. Community culture links to local craft brewing companies, reflecting how the creation of the products uses resources.
Beer with a Conscience

Current social trends of permaculture, slow food, organic, and locavore habits are not widespread, but do influence dedicated home brewers. Those involved in permaculture may grow grains and hops. Finding local and organic sources for the ingredients is also an option. Backyard chickens, or other animals, potentially benefit from spent grains, or donation to persons who have these animals is possible. These dedicated home brewers likely frequent or support those craft breweries with similar philosophies and environmentally mindful behaviors. Luckily, craft breweries conscious of environmental impact are not scarce.

Greenhouse gases, energy usage, solid waste, and water usage are major concerns for these types of craft breweries (Brewers Association, 2013). Reduction of output such as greenhouse gases and solid waste benefits the local, and global, environment. Mindfulness of packaging materials and low energy and water usage are not only environmental benefits, but also an economic benefit. An additional economic benefit is, as stated previously, those consumers who intentionally patronize these breweries to promote the ecologically friendly sustainable practices surrounding a human cultural staple.

The Future is Now

Given the integration of beer, and other fermented beverages, with human society, it is unlikely the discontinuation of consumption will occur. Craft breweries focusing on sustainable and economical practices lend hope to shifting cultural expectations and awareness of from where human food really comes. This awareness will ideally return an ever-increasing portion of the human population to a more connected relationship with the land.

I fully support the home brewers and craft brewers who think and act sustainably. I recognize that humans have a relationship with fermented beverages, especially beer, and our current society is present due directly to consumption of beer. I also understand that many current social practices undeniably result from early human thoughts and culture surrounding beer. Human economy and ecology have and can continue to benefit from this drink. To hopes for a more sustainable human culture while remembering our past, I raise my glass.

References

Ascher, B. (2012). Global beer: The road to monopoly The American Antitrust Institute.

Baugher, K. (2013, November 11, 2013). Women and beer: A 4,500-year history is coming full circle. The Atlantic.

Beer100.com.Beer history. Retrieved November 18, 2013, from http://www.beer100.com/history/beerhistory.htm

Brewers Association. (2013). Sustainability tools. Retrieved November 19, 2013, from http://www.brewersassociation.org/pages/business-tools/sustainability-Tools

Butler, S. (2013). The hoppy history of beer. Retrieved November 18, 2013, from http://www.history.com/news/hungry-history/the-hoppy-history-of-beer

Cavalieri, D., McGovern, P. E., Hartl, D. L., Mortimer, R., & Polsinelli, M. (2003). Evidence for S. cerevisiae fermentation in ancient wine. Journal of Molecular Evolution, 57(1), S226-S232.

Hieronymous, S. (2013). History of beer: Timeline. Retrieved November 18, 2013, from http://www.craftbeer.com/the-beverage/history-of-beer/timeline

Kikim Media (Producer), & Kapany, K. K. (Director). (2009, 10/30/2009). The botany of desire. [Video/DVD] pbs.org.

McGovern, P. E. (2009). Uncorking the past: The quest for wine, beer, and other alcoholic beverages. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press.

Raley, L. (1998). Concise timeline of beer history. Retrieved November 18, 2013, from http://www.beerhistory.com/library/holdings/raley_timetable.shtml

Samuel, D. (1996). Archaeology of ancient egyptian beer. Journal of the American Society of Brewing Chemists, 54(1), 3-12.

Standage, T. (2009). A history of the world in 6 glasses. New York, NY: Walker & Company.

Staten, C. (2013). 3 beery facts you didn't know about the founding fathers. Retrieved November 19, 2013, from http://draftmag.com/beereditor/3-beery-facts-you-didnt-know-about-the-founding-fathers/

Thornton, M. (1991). Alcohol prohibition was a failure. (Cato Policy Analysis No. 157 ed.) Cato Institute.

Tucker, A. (2011, July-August). The beer archeologist. Smithsonian Magazine.

Connections

For the past couple of weeks I've been thinking extensively about connections. Job #1 has eaten my brain power lately as I prepare for connecting digitally with a classroom, as well as preparing for a conference session on digital interpretation...oh, and the conference itself. Inundation with school work and jobs 1 and 2 have limited my available time to foster my relationships with friends and colleagues. This is concerning. Upon entering the doctoral program I was told jokingly (only not really): see you in four years! No. I don't want to be that person.
This week's conference reminded me of the importance of maintaining those connections. Seeing colleagues and friends again after at least a year is beyond fantastic. Not only am I lucky enough to learn from these amazing people, but I get to make new connections and reaffirm old ones. Even if it's one week each year that friendships are renewed, or utilizing social media to keep track of what is happening in others' lives, connecting is immensely important.
And now the conference is drawing to a close. My session was moderately well received (guess it's difficult to connect about digital connections...especially with technical difficulties!). New and old friends are disbursing back to homes far far away. And I feel a bit sad. Saying goodbye is always difficult, especially after learning together, learning from, and enjoying the incredibly delightful company of these remarkable people.
I am looking forward to getting a little extra sleep. Ha! Who am I kidding? Sleep is for normal people! And I am most certainly not normal. But I hope that all my friends and colleagues don't feel neglected as I somewhat withdraw from my previous level of connection. It's not you, it's me. Wait, that sounds like we're breaking up. No. Connections are very important to me, and even if my friends and colleagues haven't heard from me in a while, I still think and care about them (you!) all very much.

Citing sources is neat

As I sit down to complete (yet another) paper, I realized something. I'm tired of citing sources. This does not bode well for the remaining 3.5+ years of this program. Or me.

I'm not exactly sure why I am so tired of finding and citing sources. The finding and reading of the information is certainly interesting. I love expanding my knowledge in all things. But the actual synthesis of the published information into my own content sometimes frustrates me. Clearly other people think the same thing I think. Instead of citing, let's all just create a happy like-minded circle and agree to not cite other sources. Done.

Ok, now back to reality-ville. I get it. I understand why finding supporting documentation is important, at least until I'm considered an "expert" and can randomly spout all sorts of fun information for others to cite. I'm looking forward to that. Sort of. Not really. All kinds of pressures are associated with that 'level of knowledge'. Eek. Honestly it scares the bejeezus  out of me (that's actually a thing. You don't want it scared out of you. It's an important internal part). I struggle with the idea of being an expert, or someone others look to as experienced or knowledgeable. I think it's because I feel I have so much more to learn. And my idolization of others I deem experts doesn't allow me to consider myself anywhere near that level. Healthy humility, right? Sure. We'll go with that.

Apparently I'm still in my rabbit hole. So, to provide some levity and share with you just how neat nature is, here is a video for your viewing pleasure. And just for clarity: it's neat (and I don't present this way! Although that would be neat).

Random Ramblings

I'm off my weekly schedule. Sorry about that. There just hasn't been good inspiration for a blog post, plus I've been a bit mired in a lengthy paper. Which has also led to a trip down a rabbit hole called fear of failure. So my brain's been a bit foggy. I try to keep this light and funny, but life isn't always light and funny. Blogging isn't about just sharing the good. I mean, it can be, but then is the blogger respected for being real? I don't know the answer to that. Granted, we all know my motivation for blogging is respect (that's written in sarcastic font, just so you know).
Regardless, I don't have anything really clever or exciting to share just now. Although I recently realized that each of my posts have included some big message. My interpreter training seems to motivate me to lead you along a path to a connection or message at the end, something for you to "take away" and ponder. It amused me to realize this because it's not a conscious action.
Don't worry though, this post is just random ramblings. No message intended here. I am currently accepting applications for a ghost writer, though (that's a joke. Unless someone is interested. Then it's not). Guess it's time to finish up the latest paper before moving on to the next assignment.

CrossFit People

Uh oh. I'm becoming one of those people. The CrossFit people.

I bought a Groupon for one month of CrossFit for two people and convinced my sister she wanted to do it with me. The plan was to start at the beginning of September so that it would be easier to keep track of the "month". Well, that didn't happen. Last week I convinced her we needed to start so on Wednesday we went for the first session. Oh my goodness did that kick my rear! But it felt really good to actually move. Lately I've been attached to a computer for job #1 (which isn't always the case), of course for job #2 (because it's online), and also for homework. I've been craving some physicality. I couldn't go again on Friday because of the class time ending at the exact time I needed to be at job #1, so Monday it was. This is probably a good thing because Friday came and I was still incredibly sore, much to my own personal amusement as well as the amusement of my coworkers. It's funny when you laugh and it hurts. Which makes you laugh more. Which hurts. Which makes you laugh even more. I'm sure you can see where this leads.

Monday was great. It kicked my rear, but not in the same way. In the good way. Today is Wednesday and again job #1 start time requirements conflicted with class time. And I found myself disappointed. I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow and Friday. I could bore you with all the biological reasons why physical activity is good for you, not just on a basic health level, but also chemically. I won't, though. Google it. Or check out this link, which my sister happily shared with me: Scientific study on CrossFit.

I also think my drive to go back to CrossFit ties in with SQUIRREL!s. Something the core faculty discussed in our first colloquium week was taking care of ourselves, ensuring we have personal resilient abundance. It's a play on sustainability terminology. PhD humor. We're nerds.

Taking the opportunity to chase the SQUIRREL! and keeping up normal routines (or new ones of working out) helps the mind mull over and consider different topics and concepts. Have you ever sat in front of a project wracking your brain for ideas when you're stumped? Then decide to step away for a bit and suddenly have a brilliant idea, or just can return to the task a short time later with a fresh perspective? Yea. Like that. Chase the SQUIRREL! Go do CrossFit! Feed the body and mind.

I'll see you at the gym tomorrow. And Friday. Where you'll hear that once you finish this last exercise of the warm up (which is remarkably like the entire boot camp workout I experienced (again through a Groupon) in May) that the real work out starts. Woot - getting our rears kicked for resilient abundance.

Squirrel!

I don't want to bore you with repetition of doctoral work. It's hard. And time consuming. There. You're updated now.

A few years ago I attended a workshop on incorporating humor in presentations. It was hilarious, especially when one presenter described that he has ADOS: attention deficit...ooh shiny!

Now, you might think this isn't really that bad to have, this ADOS. It's not, in most cases. Especially if you are a bird that likes to collect shiny things (male bower birds have been observed collecting iridescent beetle exoskeletons to impress the ladies. hubba hubba). I've seen grackles sitting on top of the side mirror of the van I drive for work staring at her/himself and wiping his/her beak on the mirror. This is unpleasant when attempting to drive around town and see out of the side mirror.

I was introduced to a new type of ADOS called SOS when at my colloquium week. This SOS is not the "I need help now" kind. Instead it's "Shiny Object Syndrome". Sounds remarkably similar to ADOS. Now, this tends to rear its ugly head when it's least desired, like when a paper is due. But the problem is, there is always a paper due. I don't think ADOS or SOS are really bad things. I think of it as a way for my brain to take a break from consciously concentrating on various philosophical topics...like research methods. But it's not a complete shut down. The human brain needs time to process. Sometimes something completely seemingly unrelated can spark fresh ideas or perspectives. Did you watch the TV show House? Like that, only less angry drug addict and more crazy PhD student with a very full life.

In fact, a conversation with a good friend brought an interesting new application of SOS. Squirrels. There was a delightful movie in 2009 about an old man who didn't want to leave his house and so inflated a ridiculous number of balloons and flew away. Some might say this is a kid movie. I argue it's only labeled a kid movie if you aren't a kid at heart. I am most definitely a kid at heart. Anywho, in this movie there is a marvelous dog named Dug. Dug, and the other dogs in the movie, are frequently distracted momentarily by SQUIRREL!

But then the dogs returned to the task at hand...err, paw.

I plan to embrace my SQUIRREL! moments, allow my brain the time to process, enjoy the moment, and move forward with tasks at hand.

A week in the life of a penguin...

Being a penguin is tough. Especially an Adélie penguin. Imagine living in Antarctica with extremely harsh, cold winters and having to travel many hundreds of miles from pack ice to the ocean to find food. And finding food is becoming more difficult each day as competition increases with large strange mammals who travel in loud, not-ice-or-rock floating icebergs collecting all the yummiest of the fish and krill. Plus, while warmer temperatures and stronger winds make it a little easier to get to the ocean to hunt, there is less ice on which to live. I decided to leave this mundane ice-bound life and travel to an exotic place - the desert. There are many similarities between the antarctic landscape and the desert landscape. Not much grows there. Not a lot of drinkable water is available. But the desert I traveled to doesn't have snow for me to eat as a source of water like in Antarctica. And cactus doesn't taste very good to me. Fish aren't abundant here, but they are becoming less abundant back home too. Plenty of rocks are available for naps, although they are a bit warm. Locating the perfect shady spot for a nap is a bit tricky, as most things in the desert are pokey.



My migration is because I heard there is availability in fungus gardening, so for a little fresh perspective I decided to try my flipper at it. I've spent the last week really focusing on the little garden that was overgrown. It took a lot of effort! Little by little I selected the fungi, mainly mushrooms, that needed to be removed and carefully plucked them one by one. I saw a mushroom that seemed to be small, but the mycelium (or root-like structures) were much deeper than expected. It took me almost 4 hours to learn about this special type of mushroom, research how to remove it, and finally pluck it! But I was awarded a certificate that I'm told I have to keep forever. Maybe that's so I don't have to do all that work again to remove the same kind of mushroom in the future. During this time I was told I should go to the vet to get some tests done, just for funsies, and potentially extra treats. The tests might help other penguins in the future, but also could involve taking medicine. I don't like medicine. It was difficult, but I think I presented a good argument against it. Plus I don't need extra treats. Then I pulled another mushroom. That one was a little taller and quite pretty, so I didn't really want to remove it from the garden since it was so nice to look at, but I can see now that it needed to be done.

Still another mushroom needed plucking. This is a difficult job! The managers of the fungus garden are relentless in their demands. And so many mushrooms need pulling in such a short time! I think it's probably a combination of the weather and time of year. Regardless, this one took a little extra effort and some reflection. I didn't use a mirror though. It was the kind of reflection where a penguin has to consider who she is as a fungus gardener as well as what she knows, then apply these to future fungus gardening ideas. I learned some new words during this one. Like ontology. That's the part about who a penguin is.
The little garden still needed attention, though.There was a huge mushroom that took help from a good friend penguin to decide the best way to cull it from the rest. We had to follow careful gardening guidelines and work together to accomplish our goal. Luckily, we were very successful, and even pulled out that mushroom a few days earlier than we absolutely had to. Flipper high fives were shared. I love flipper high fives.

I can barely take a moment to peek at how the garden is taking shape because there is still one more big mushroom that needs to be removed quickly. And this one removal is going to be carefully watched by a different penguin. Who knew so many penguins were interested in fungus gardening? I'm told that I am committed to four years as a fungus gardener. Good thing there are some other penguins here to keep me company. Maybe my efforts here in the desert will help all the penguins back home. Good thing I have social media to keep in touch, since I don't think I'll be seeing anyone in the near future! Maybe the garden managers will give me vacation time...oh, that big one isn't going to pull itself, they say. Back to work.

The fungus among us

A dear friend of mine told me that the Bornean ducks (not technically the species name, just a descriptor of where I saw and took a photo of them. The ducks.) photo at the top is boring and needed to be changed. This person is no longer a dear friend. Not really. The suggestion was that I mix up the photographs used. I was skeptical at first. I like my Bornean ducks. They remind me of a delightful part of my Master's journey, including the fantastic homestay family I quickly grew to love and now miss terribly. But, I can also understand that looking at the same old photo each time you read these ground-breaking amalgamations of thought isn't very appealing. So, my no-longer-but-really-always dear friend sent me some fantastic photos and gave me permission to use them. You may notice I've played around with the appearance - new photo, a new background, font colors, etc. - because you definitely pay that close attention to things.

The photo I fell in love with, which you should see if you aren't viewing this on the mobile version, is one of a fungus taken on an island south of Tierra del Fuego (which makes this song pop into my head: http://youtu.be/OkEedQGZ5Q0 enjoy!) by my dear friend (who hopefully is fine with my quest for anonymity and doesn't desire to be named). Responses to hearing (or reading) the word 'fungus' probably range from accepting to "ewww!" because of varying levels of experience. Maybe you love to eat mushrooms. Maybe you hate mushrooms. Maybe you've been lucky enough to be a host for a fungus on your feet or other body parts. It's ok. I don't judge. Maybe you've geeked out at zombie-creating fungus (I totally geek out on this every. single. time.), like this:


Perhaps you've even equated fungus growth to homework. No? Just me, then? Ok. Well, here goes. Homework is like a fungus. If you don't address it in a timely manner, it just keeps growing, especially under the right conditions, such as a doctoral program. Fungus (i.e. homework) doesn't stop for your full time job, additional part time job, or the most important part of your life: parenthood. Instead, it sits quietly in the corner (i.e. computer), slowly accumulating and expanding until one day (read: many sleepless nights) you have to buckle down and apply some elbow grease just to catch up with the growth. But you never can eradicate it. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Some fungus is quite beautiful, such as the one shown in the photo. Learning is also beautiful, and homework is just the "proof" of learning.

So, I guess it's time to buckle down and prepare to apply elbow grease for the foreseeable sleepless nights future. I am currently accepting donations in the form of coffee gift cards. Or just the coffee. My favorite is iced nonfat double chocolate mocha, in case you're wondering.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

Know what is reflective? Tape (the reflective kind, of course). Mirrors (except the one the evil queen has from the Snow White story).
Know what is not reflective? People.
You may want to argue this point with me, but read on to understand my viewpoint on this.
It seems to me that the use of the word reflection (as a descriptor for a personal practice instead of what you see in the mirror) is an attempt to add distinction to something, be it an educational program, or a professional practice, et cetera. This popped up for me during part of a homework assignment I was attempting to complete while willing the beginnings of a migraine to really just be afterimage from looking at the light on my desk. (And, in case you were wondering, it was not afterimage. Stupid migraine. Not only do I have the smallest measurement for height in my family, which I term "fun-sized", but I am also lucky enough to get migraines. Thanks, Mother.) The homework included watching a TED talk. I love TED talks.
(Watch one of my favorites:   
No, this one was not the homework. Still worth it. Probably more so.)
The one I watched was a chemistry teacher talking about how learning is messy. Yes, pause for a moment to appreciate the irony in that statement from a chemistry teacher. His point was that learning doesn't happen linearly. The suggested three rules of engagement for learning included: Practice reflection. There's that word again. But the speaker continues and explains in a way I like. He says that what we learn takes care, and revision. I like this word better. I tend toward analytical thinking. When I experience something I take time to think through the experience, the way it made me feel, how I might alter my responses in the future, what I can do to make it happen again (if it's a good experience, of course!), or prevent it from happening again, and so on. Revision.
Reflection, in my mind, has no action point. No personal change. In fact, the Dictionary.com definition under the word history and origin is:

late 14c., in reference to surfaces, from L.L. reflexionem (nom.reflexio) "a reflection,"  

lit. "a bending back".

It's just looking back at what happened...and then...nothing. Oh yay! That just happened! What's next?

So, what is next? Is 'reflective practice' accurate terminology? I maintain that inclusion of 'reflective practice' or 'reflection' within educational programs and professional environments is just lip service to add perceived distinction or prestige. But I also acknowledge that I have no quality succinct alternate to accurately describe what is intended by these insufficient words. Maybe just reflection and revision. Naw, that sounds too edit-y. No one likes editing or being edited (did that bring to mind the dreaded red pen? It did for me!). Unless you're weird. Then you probably do. Of course we all know I'm weird. Damnit. 

Oh, and if you were about to chastise me for not citing my sources, here's the link to the TED talk that I referenced: www.ted.com/talks/ramsey_musallam_3_rules_to_spark_learning.html 

Enjoy.

Convergence of paths

I started this blog as a way to process my journey through the doctorate program I have now officially begun, as this week is the orientation and colloquium week. I intend for Nonsense Interpreted to be light-hearted and sprinkled with humor, along with the general goofiness that occurs within my brain. This post is going to be a bit of a separation from that intention because this morning I was truly introduced to the members of my cohort and was personally impacted in a powerful way. The collection of incredible doctoral students astounds and humbles me, and makes me question (again) how I, little ol' me, could ever measure up to the knowledge and passion that emanate from these people.
At first I decided to just listen and really hear the information everyone shared, but then I found myself writing down little nuggets that resonated with me. I am not attributing these to anyone in particular (the story you are about to hear (read) is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent...), because, honestly, I'm terrible at remembering names, but really because it truly is a collection from the group. Initially, we heard that there is a process that students go through: first elation, then rejection, then integration, and finally transformation. I'll come back to this in a bit. As I continued to listen I realized the level of self-actualization in the room was staggering. These people have walked their paths and really learned about themselves along the way: their passions, their choices, their strengths, their pasts, and their goals. I was struck by how many of us are educators and regularly get up in front of groups of people, but so many very openly expressed nervousness. And surprise at that nervousness. I considered that the nervousness stemmed from a sense of vulnerability. We are all joining together on this journey without really knowing where we will end up and how we will get there, or really who these people are that are taking the journey with us. But I also noted that even with this vulnerability that everyone has such a strong voice, and not in the sense of what a person sounds like, but in the deep rooted passion and individual identity.
We all also described connection, each in our own way, to the past that influenced who we are today. This description helped create interconnections within the group, I think, as the safety of the space created the opportunity to share. I attribute much of my passion for the natural world and my joy in nonformal education to my mother's influence (but don't tell her I said that!). Really, though, she taught me so much, without me ever realizing that I was learning. Wherever we went she helped us explore and experience the people and place. This continues to influence my appreciation for wherever I go, my desire to be open to what a place can show me. It also drives me to spark passion and connection within others to the natural world.
I also recognize the strength in each member of this cohort group. Strength not only in will, but also in overcoming the vulnerability and really opening up to a bunch of strangers. I listened intently to stories of perseverance, passion, and cultural connection. I absorbed and realized my own influence and readiness for this process as I heard others describe theirs. I acknowledge again how humbled I am to have my path converge in this place with these people at this time.
The morning was a roller coaster of personal and emotional highs and lows. It didn't stop. The afternoon was coursework, and a good reminder that there is so much more in the world to learn. Then the day was rounded out by a discussion with a student who just finished the first year and an instructor who received a PhD through this program. It was difficult to receive the blunt delivery of the information that this program is hard. I have no illusions that this part of my life journey will be challenging and difficult, but I also don't like walking away feeling like I am attempting to climb an insurmountable summit.
So that brings me back to that process that was described in the beginning of the day: Elation-->Rejection-->Integration-->Transformation.
I felt a real sense of elation as the day dawned (that's a metaphor for the start of everything. I just got tired of saying "begun" and "started"). Rejection occurred at the end of the day. Integration of the information and processing of all I experienced, including recognition of the strength and power of those around me followed. Transformation as I end the day telling myself I can do this.
Problem is, I don't usually listen to myself. I mean, really, would you listen to someone who believes a tiger would climb into a van and shut the door behind him/her just to lie in wait? Me either. That's plain crazy talk.

"Ah. No wonder you're extinct."

The brain is a tricky beast. I tried to find the name of the phobia of the unknown, but apparently there isn't a name for it. Which seems a bit ironic to me, to be perfectly honest. Anyway, back to the topic at hand. New things can be scary. Or exhilarating. Or a combination of both. But the mind tends to compensate for the unknown, filling in details from past experiences, including personal experiences or movies or images, as a way to try to prepare for what the future holds. This could be positive and beneficial preparation, or possibly induce more anxiety. Perhaps a mixture of the two, especially if you can find humor in the way your brain compensates. I have an example for you.

Imagine you work at a zoo as an outreach educator. The educational programs that are reserved occur at various times of the day, including into the late evening. This means that sometimes you return to the zoo after dark and put the animals back into their happy homes when nearly everyone else is gone. The zoo does have staff on grounds twenty four hours a day, but late at night it's usually only one or two park rangers, whom you don't tend to see. Now let's say you have a very active imagination, one which keeps you highly entertained generally, but frequently thinks up some interesting scenarios when you are alone in the dark. (Quick aside: it's not the dark that's scary, but what you can't see in the dark...the unknown...) But one evening you are returning to the zoo after a late program, you don't see anyone else, it's dark, and you are finishing the duties of putting the animals away before going home for the night. As you exit the animal building you see the van sitting on the back road and you walk toward it. The scene from Jurassic Park begins playing in your mind, you know, the one where Nedry gets back into the Jeep only to find a dilophosaurus was also inside. You chuckle. Then you realize that there could be a tiger in the van, because dilophosaurus are extinct, and you are at a zoo. At night. Nearly alone. It's perfectly logical that a tiger would get out, walk across the zoo, find the van when you are not in it, open the door, get in, close the door (CLOSE THE DOOR), and wait for me...I mean, you...to climb back into the van. You chuckle again. At this point you are close to the van and about to open the door. Still chuckling, you open the door just a crack, enough for the light to come on inside, then visually scan the inside of the van to verify that there is not a tiger inside (or a dilophosaurus, for that matter) before opening the door all the way to get in and drive back to the office. And you continue to laugh at yourself, while feeling a bit relieved that the scenario in your mind did not come true (it's possible that could happen. Really. Don't doubt the ability of extinct dinosaurs to make an appearance or tigers to close car door behind them.).

So as I pack and plan to drive a couple hours north of the city where I live to start my new educational journey tomorrow, I consider how I can prepare for this program to which I am excited to dedicate the next four years, but of which I am not yet aware of what to expect (except lots of hard work). First item on the list is to always check for wayward dilophosaurus. And tigers.

Who you gonna call?

It's a week away from the first day of the rest of my life. Cheesy enough? Probably not. Every day is the first day of the rest of my life, and yours even, but in one week I will embark on the next stage. The doctoral program. Officially. Up until now it hasn't felt truly real, kind of like when you're a kid and you know an awesome holiday is coming soon but it's still so far away and you just can't wait, but you have to wait. But I guess it's starting to feel more real now, more official, as books are purchased and received, procrastination over reading said books is in full swing, and final logistical plans are made. Oh, and the first dream occurred. Apparently I am more anxious and nervous than I realize because I experienced a wacky dream the other night. The fun with dreams is that over time they get a bit fuzzy and you're not sure if you are really remembering the dream or your brain is making different stuff up just to mess with you even more. My brain does that. Sometimes it's humorous. I don't quite recall the details of how it all began, but I remember my cohort included people who I know didn't even apply to the program. And the campus was MUCH larger than it really is. And had a ginormous multi-story library where people floated around looking at books (which I viewed from a walkway that ringed the open middle area), and when anyone tried to take a picture of it with cell phone cameras (since no one had a 'real' camera...who carries those in dreams?), the pictures all showed creepy horror images instead of what we were actually seeing. Some philosophical discussion could be sparked from this: is what we were seeing real or some veil over the truth? I'm not going down that rabbit hole! I also recall being assigned to a hotel room with a roommate, not being able to find my room, and generally getting lost. I'm sure there's some symbolism there too, but again, I'm not exploring it.
Instead I will focus on looking ahead to what the future holds for me, while trying to stay in the present as much as I can, and continue to look for the humor in things. Like creepy floating people in libraries. Wasn't there a library scene in a Ghostbusters movie? Yes, indeed.

Winning...in brief

Expected cost for textbooks (for the fall...just.the.fall.): $798.92 (not including shipping).

(I'll let you react to that for just a moment )

My cost for textbooks (with the magic of Amazon and ebay): $386.61 (including shipping).

I win.

Sharknado descends.

After graduating from the master's program, I looked forward to a bit of downtime with the knowledge that I had some goals of applying for the Ph.D. program as well as submitting an article for publication. What I didn't foresee was a whirlwind of crazy busy-ness at work that meant I put in way more hours than normal and that made February through July a blur, almost tornado-like (not sharknado-like, fortunately...much better acting). I like to approach each day as it comes because looking too far into the future can cause anxiety and frustration, and spending too much time in the past prevents the appreciation of the present. That being said, it felt as if each day was all I could focus on, with constant triage of tasks just to maintain what little sanity I have (seriously little. minute. tiny. itsy bitsy, even). I knew that eventually I would receive communication of what to expect and how to prepare for the start of the new journey into the Ph.D. program with the upcoming colloquium week. So I waited, unconcerned, treading water (figuratively and literally - keep reading, the literally will make sense in a moment) and getting through each day. Then came vacation. (I did enjoy a pre-vacation a month prior to vacation: a week of traveling with friends and family around California, spending incredibly wonderful moments with people I love very much.) Ah, how I was so happy to have vacation. Two weeks at one of my favorite spots in the world - Hawai'i (treading water make sense now? Good!). The relaxation and sense of home filled me to the core, a much needed recharge of sun, sand, ocean, and culture. Then I received a phone call. It was bright and early one morning when my phone rang (buzzed, actually. I don't like ringtones.). I didn't answer. I sensed it was from the college, but the early hour and relaxation brain prevented clear thought, although I did get a jolt of adrenaline from recognizing the area code.
The voicemail asked about my bio that was supposed to be submitted 3 days ago. Huh? Bio? I wracked my brain trying to recall getting communication about writing a bio and realized the last I had heard was a "Oh hey, soon you'll be getting an email from the head honcho guy who'll be asking you for a bio to share all the things your cohort peeps will want to know about you before meeting them in person in a month" (in those exact words. Promise.). An email followed the voicemail with the same info. Panic ensued. This is how I begin this journey? With completely failing at the first "assignment"? This cannot be true! Fast forward to home from vacation and a careful combing through of email communication when the realization hits that a single letter was forgotten from my email address. (This is occurring with alarming frequency as of late, which leads me to this public service announcement: read email addresses carefully! I feel bad for the person who owns my incorrect email address, you know, the one with the missing letter.) And the realization that other communication was most likely delivered to the wrong person. And the realization that I missed out on other communication. Eek!
You'll be happy to hear that I completed the bio and submitted it with no problem. I also contacted the appropriate peeps about the incorrect email addresses and am now all caught up with the communications. But I'm a few weeks behind on purchasing textbooks and reading the chapters necessary for discussions that will occur in two weeks. Don't worry, though (I know you were worried), I can rock it out and be ready. I got this. What.

So it begins

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...wait, that's not right, it was in this galaxy...captain's log star date one one...wait, not a captain...ok, I digress. When I was in college (the first time. Oh, that sounds bad. I mean for my undergraduate degree.) I thought my path was to complete my undergraduate, then graduate, then doctorate degrees with no breaks. Lofty goals. I didn't exactly follow that path because, well, life happened. The completion of my graduate degree was inevitable, if nearly 10 years later than expected. During the final semester of my graduate degree my dream/goal of achieving a doctoral degree became real once again. After accomplishing all the required tasks and graduating with a master's degree, I looked closely at a program near home that allows the student to determine the course of study based on personal interest and passion. My excitement (and anxiety) built as I investigated further and finished, then submitted, the required admission materials. Then, the waiting. The waiting. The waiting. It felt like forever. And a day. Initially the news I received was my status on the wait list (more waiting!!), but less than a week later the happy news of acceptance bounced into my inbox (which I read while sitting in my car after spending the day at the San Diego Zoo with three amazing friends who squealed their pleasure along with me!).
Since that time life continues to roll along, with the little preparations of going back to school...again. AAAAND filling out student loan forms for the first time (yes, I've been exceptionally lucky on this front - no student loans ever! Well, until now. Sad face.) because doctoral programs are EXPENSIVE. No joke. So now we are up to date. This brief synopsis is intended to capture your attention instead of falling into TL;DR territory. And bring you to why the blog exists. While I travel along on this doctoral journey I hope to share some snippets (periodically, perhaps more often than periodically, maybe even frequently) along with keep myself sane (ha ha! as if that's ever a possibility!). Welcome to the ride.